Strange News by Bradley Zang
What do Albert Einstein, Erwin Schroedinger and Chess Master Roger Penrose have in common?
Well besides the obvious chess, math, physics.
Answer: They all at one time contemplated making
a Vampire Cat .
Erwin Schroedinger wrote Albert Einstein a letter proposing an experiment that could lead to the creation of a living dead
You probably remember
Albert Einstein as that mediocre Chess player who claimed his friend World Champion Emanuel Lasker talked too much about chess.
Anyway Schroedinger whose most memorable quote is,
" I do enjoy a good game of Chess. ", wrote a letter that reads more like a cook book. It said, " A cat is placed in a steel
chamber, along with the a device which must be secured against direct interference by the cat. This device is a Geiger counter
with a very tiny bit of radioactive substance. Perhaps in the course of the hour one of the atoms decays.
Also, with equal probability, perhaps none
decays. If that happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer which shatters a small flask of
hydrocyanic acid in the box. If one has left this system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if
meanwhile no atom has decayed. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead
cat mixed or smeared out in equal parts." (I know a lot of you think the JCN makes things up but the quantum mechanics equations
governing this experiment doesn't just say the atom had a probability it would decay.
It also says it did decay and didn't decay. Two realities.)
Anyway some chess enthusiasts from Glouchester (United
Kingdom) have an interesting story to tell.
Let Bill Makemson their spokesperson tell you his story in his own word. "Thank you for hearing my
story. No other reputable Chess News Letter would.
In the first year of the reign of Queen Elizabeth II (1952) a group physicist from my old alma
mater, the University College Dublin (Ireland), formed a secret chess society.
If you weren't a physicist, you couldn't get in. They called themselves
the Chess Cabal.
leader, a wealthy Irish protestant who never revealed his true identity, was called the Baron. He decided to open their first
clubhouse on land he inherited in Gloustershire ( England). It was a great success and chess activities really blossomed in
the first year. On the coldest day in the winter of 1953, he played in a tournament in Leinster (Ireland).
The Baron returned to his hotel room very late that
night because he took in a traditional Kilkenny cat fight. Despite his lack of sleep, managed to barely eke out two wins the
next morning. He went to bed the next night and found his cat George keeping him awake crying and hissing all night. He then
lost his morning game.
was a disaster to him for he was disqualified from representing Ireland in the 1954 Olympiad (Amsterdam).
Later at night he decided to conduct Schroedinger's
recommended experiment on his beloved cat George. Within one year with just a few simple modification of the Schroedinger's
original recommendation the Chess Cabal were ready to preceded.
In the Winter of 54, they placed the George in the box in the above mentioned self
contained system on their Gloustershire club houses deck overlooking the pastoral Severn river. This was done on the deck
because they didn't want any cyanide gas being released into their club house. Also the box opened automatically on a 1 hour
timer so that no one would inadvertently breath in some of the gas.
The Chess Cabal just wanted to see if the cat would be dead or alive. At the
very beginning of the experiment, a thunderous rainstorm started and the members went inside for a few minutes. Unfortunately,
the rain caused the Servern river banks to overflow and the box as well as the deck was washed away."
The question of whether the cat in the Schroedinger
experiment should be dead or alive has been addressed by many scientists.
I like the suggestion by Jacksonville's foremost physicist John Archibald
Wheeler that, " the universe is a self-excited circuit - a system whose existence and whose history and perhaps even its laws
are determined by measurements".
Some say the answer is the anthropic cosmological principle. It says by looking in the box we participate in deciding
whether the cat is dead or alive. It is dead or alive if we look in the box.
The mathematical functions describing this experiment don't converge until
you look in the box. Since no one found the box and it opened automatically, is a living dead (Vampire) cat now wondering
around the banks of the Servern in Gloustershire?
Maria Sewell, a long time Gloustershire chess player, says "Yes! The towns folk call it the Beast
of Gloustershire. It's been attacking people since the late fifties. It lives in shadows. It seems to phase out of existence
when people hunt it only to phase back in again.
Billy Eveleigh a Gloustershire scholastic chess player, who has studied the Beast of Goustershire
says "In the past 50 years there have been hundreds of recorded sightings of this supernatural cat elsewhere for example BEDFORDSHIRE,
BERKSHIRE and BUCKINGHAMSHIRE .
Every time it attacks someone the constabulary ignore the clue of a putrefying cat carcass lying nearby. I know why
it attacks people! I learned from Mary Shelley's book (Frankenstein).
If you are going to create a new type of life form, it will attack you if you don't
create a mate for it. " Mohammed Hozzurbi a Wales Chess player says, " I would do the same experiment to my cat Fritz. She
is quite and cleans all the time.
would be the perfect mate for George. But I couldn't even begin to try. I am told because of unfair religious profiling against
people of Islamic decent in the U.K. It has made it impossible to buy radio active material here. Even in London where you
can get a prescription for heroin !"
Draco Borjariu, president of the Draco Transylvania Chess Club ( Bran, Romania) comments, " If you love your
cat, why let your curiosity kill the cat? Why can't we conduct this experiment on convicted murders? Preferably those involved
in cannibalisim and blood drinking." For those of you who don't have a clue as to what quantum mechanics is about. I offer
the case of White's King on g3 being checked by a Bishop on c7 then White blocking the check by moving a pawn two spaces from
F2 to F4 only to have black take the pawn on while passing (enpassent) e4 x f3. Did the king ever get out of check? Yes and
no. The pawn blocked the check and was intercepted before it reached F4 to block the check. You have a Living Dead King.
Our co editor Brad Zang has refused to allow a JCC investigation
committee to be formed. He mentioned, " People might misconstrue this article as a formula for using quantum mechanics to
make real Vampires."