Strange Chess News by Bradley
The Elmers of Chess are Ham Radio Masters who bounce signals off
Near Earth Objects with chess moves on them.
Why? I am told, to add the risk of the move being rejected because it
didn't bounce. You would then have to choose a different move. To be more specific Elmers are Ham Radio Masters who not only
have a technological knowledge of Radio Communications, but practice a lifestyle around its use designed to quiet the thinking
mind and move awareness, from the rational to the intuitive mode of consciousness.
Members of the Five Points Chess Master Club, (FPCMC Jacksonville) have
been claiming for years that Elmers have been trying to get them into apprenticeships. Telling them stuff like, " It only
cost 6 dollars to get a Ham License", " You don't need to know Morse code." and, They lowered the 35 multiple choice question
test passing grade to a D so checker players could get in." Northeast Florida is not adverse to Radio Chess.
The Late Russ Donnelly (see openings section) past president of the Jacksonville
Chess Club and founder of the Five Points Chess Club was one of the pioneers in radio chess. He had to discontinue the practice
during WWII but picked it up again when stationed in Occupied Japan after the war. The reasons for its ban during the war
besides it's use for blatant espionage were that one could unintentionally give the location of a regiment and troop movements
just through conversation associated with the game.
Now comes the Island of Malta incident. Malta has a noble history some
call it an independent nation, the Azure Window, beloved Island home, but lets be honest it is a Fort. If you were trying
to make contact with a Potentially Dangerous Alien Presence. (PDAP) You would do it from a Fortress to avoid any chance of
the Aliens taking over the transmission site.
That is why Malta is the Hub for all Elmers Chess in the Old World.
To make the case that it is a Fort I offer the words of Winston Churchill (Feb 9 1941), "I dare say you will have noticed
a very significant air action which was fought over Malta a fortnight ago. The Germans sent an entire Geschwader (squadron)
of dive-bombers to Sicily. They seriously injured our new aircraft carrier Illustrious, and then, as this wounded ship was
sheltered in Malta harbor, they concentrated upon her all their force so as to beat her to pieces; but they were met by the
batteries of Malta, which is one of the strongest defended fortresses in the world against air attack."
I am told by sources that the Elmers Chess Masters of Malta work secretly
with the Astronomical Society of Malta and project Star Shine run by NASA. But is this really radio Chess?
Lou Ryan of Malta say's "Its a variant so I won't participate.
The chances that all your moves and your opponents moves will bounce and you will end up with a regular game of Chess are
astronomical." Anyway Malta station 9HA3CP (lat 36 long 14.4) ie. Abe Saint, has been playing Elmers Chess with Titusville
Florida Radio station KF4CFO ie. Bill Galante. Titusville which is located close to NASA seems to be the Grand Central Station
of North American Ham Radio. The same reliable source states, that during the Space Coast Open there is at least one Elmer
Master in each section. I asked Bill Galante , How he finds the objects he bounce off. He says, he uses Home Planet 3.1 software
to find the location of Near Earth Objects for his bounces.
But let Bill tell his story in his own words, "While playing a common
variation of the Ruy Lopez ( the Chigorin) 1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bb5 a6 4.Ba4 Nf6 5.0-0 Be7 6.Re1 b5 7.Bb3 d6 8.c3 0-0 9.h3
Na5 10. Bc2 c5 11d4 Qc7 I decided to try to bounce the move 12 Nb-d2 off the Comet Ikeya-Zhang on Feb 16 2002. My Elmer Master
John Siks told me bouncing signals off comets was too difficult because of poor ionization at VHF. He recommended that I choose
an astroid or the Moon for my games, but I wanted to be different. I was amazed when I got a response from my Malta counter
part 9HA3CP. He said, "good move", gave me his move 12...b4 and the positions of other Near Earth Objects (NEO) to try my
bounce off . I was surprised to find that some of them were not in the Home Planet data base of 5732 asteroids, meteors and
comets nor in the LINEAR data base ( MIT data base of NEO's), but each time I transmitted I got the corresponding bounce signal
within an acceptable db range 30 and time window. 13 cxb4 cxb4 I thought these guys in Malta were good. In my next move 14
Bb3 I told Mr. Saint,."Some objects were too far for my equipment". He told me on his next move, a perfect bounce 14 Nxb3,
that the Rail Roads in Florida have remote controlled breakers on their ground system, and at certain times you can use the
Rail Road tracks as a giant antenna. The message also included the times , track configurations, and suggested I take a portable
transmitter and hook up. But I had never heard of this.
Elmer John Siks seemed surprised when I told him about this but smiled
and said, "We are every where." It worked 16 axb3 On Feb 28 I got the move 16...Bb7 with the Question why are we making bacteria
adapt to super high pressures is it to Kill those ugly Extra Terrestrials. I remembered reading on Yahoo News the day before
that someone took the bacteria E.coli and exposed it to pressures 16000 times the pressure at sea level. It adapted and survived.
Then I remembered someone asking me not to Hum during a tournament and realized this was another ploy to distract me. I complained
to Elmer Siks who also acted as tournament director. He acted very surprised at the question and awarded me the win because
my opponent tried to distract me. Then ordered me to dismantle my equiptment to give it a rest. But I have not seen or heard
from my Elmer since.
Our investigation was divided into eight parts.
First a member tried to contact Abe Saint (9HA3CP) via E-mail to get
his version of events. He got an automated response that our E-mails were being blocked.
Second a member decided to investigate the feasibility of using ungrounded
rail road tracks as antennas.
2A) A member asked Physicist Jonney Myers he sad "Why not? But I never
heard of it."
2B) A member asked JCC Treasurer Claud Fosshee a long time employee
of the rail road if he ever heard of it. He said "No" but immediately resigned as Treasurer before we could ask him about
the Elmers of Chess. (We now need a new Treasurer members please apply!) Third our goal was to find out about possible Elmer
infiltration of Florida Chess Clubs.
3A) To get some background on the subject a member asked John Ellis president
of the JCC. What exactly is an Elmer? He said "I never heard of the term." We have people willing to testify at an open Board
of Directors Meeting that he was the Ham Radio Air Traffic Controller for all of Florida in 1976.
3B) A member tried to contact Gerald Sohn President of the Orange Park
Chess Club to ask about the Elmers but was told by his secretary "He was unavailable for comment, because he's busy with a
project involving Satellites in orbit designed for Ham Radio use.
Forth a member contacted chess players on the Island of Malta to ask
about Elmers Chess there. He was told in no uncertain terms that the Maltese Chess Federation wants all communication with
the Jax Chess News to stop!
Fifth A member called the FCC (Federal Communication Commission) and
asked " Could anyone make such perfect bounces off of NEO?" Their response was to hang up on him.
Sixth We tackled the strange question accompanying moves during
6A). Bacteria - Mikle Kruge a marine biologist and chess player
on pogo says, "I understands the misunderstanding. We just wanted to see if Bacteria could exist under the Surface of Mars,
but someone thought we were trying to adapt the Bacteria to Kill them."
6B) Plasma Shields - Physicist Johnny Myers says, "I never thought of
creating a device that would disperse heavy acetone and then detonate it by a sonic trigger to create a plasm shield with
temperatures of perhaps 10 million degrees as an application, but I will check with a friend who works as a defense contractor
for NATO." Johnny has not returned our calls for two weeks and his neighbors say he must have moved out of town.
Seventh a member tried to contact Elmer John Siks, because we were
told by a Ham Radio expert that radio equipment does not have to be disassembled to get a rest. John Siks neighbors all the
same thing, "I never heard of him and mind your own busines."
Eighth We tried to contact NASA about the Elmers of Malta and their
connection with Project Star Shine. All we got is a recording that says " Due to security concerns for the first time in a
decade the agency is not giving Shuttle launch times in advance."
Conclusions: Despite the senseless clamor of my committee, I feel this
is all just a lot of coincidence, paranoia, suspicion and innuendo. Nothing to worry about! I mean Elmers it sounds like a
glue. Respectfully Submitted by Brad Zang [Chairman JCN Elmers Chess Investigation Committee March 23, 2002]