The League Of Extraordinary Chess Players
Nov 25 2003 On Kundalin Yoga
Strange News from the Jax Chess News
The Queens Gambit Declined Slav Defense 1.d4 d5 2.c4 c6
End Game Lesson
Opening Lesson 1
Opening Lesson 2
Opening Lesson 3
Opening Lesson 4
Opening Lesson 5
Opening Lesson 6
Opening Lesson 7
Jacques Meises Dutch defence 1. d4 f5 2. g3 b6
The Staunton Gambit 1.d4 f5 2.e4
Scholastic pictures and crosstables


Kundalin Parasite Reported by Bradley Zang

 On Kundalin Yoga it is written,"I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life; yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of Death." AL II: 6

 Chessplayer, Mountain Climber and Satanist Aleister Crowley (See Famous Game Below) was one of the first writers to introduce Kundalin (Fire-Snake) Yoga to western culture.

In fact to some his best writing is YOGA FOR YAHOOS .

 In our opinion much of what Crowley and his drones consider his greatest literary accomplishment where cheap unimaginative knockoffs, simply reversing or perverting the meaning, wording or pronunciations of great philosophical works by Hillel, Jesus and Augustine.

 Many chess enthusiasts feel Crowleys life could have been less of a waste if he spent more time playing the Game of Kings but the chess prodigy at the age of 4 must have realized early he would never be the best at it.

 Aleister Crowley clearly wanted to be the best at anything. He didn't care what, I mean anything. At first he said he would become the Beast in the book of revelations.

 When in 1923 the Sunday Express agreed Aleister Crowley was the Wickedest Man in the World, he thought he was winning the Wickedest Man foot race.

 But he must have cursed Satan when he was soon passed and left way behind by at least 20 million Goose-Steppers.

Many of the Crowley cronies still say today, "Benito Mussolini thought Crowley was too evil for Italy." but judging by Mussolini's friends he the was no judge of character.

 Basically the man was all expectation with nothing to show. Still the question looms, why such great expectations?.

With this background let Massimiliano Passavinti from Cefalu Sicily tell his story. I am a mountain climber. I ve climbed mountains all over the world. One day in the Alps I slipped and pulled a muscle in my back.

I couldn't climb for a few years so I started playing chess. I spent a lot of time alone studying it. See, my beloved wife an artist asked if she could go to study art at the Louvre.

 She just wanted to paint copies of the great artists there. Well it was three years before I saw her again. Sitting in my chair I would play chess on the internet. It was a good uneventful life. Walking even after years was a little painful.

Your story about the Yahoo's was fascinating to me. It struck a note, so I am writing you.

 Last month I finally found out why my wife never came back. A dear friend and fellow climber Abuhj came to visit me with my wife on his arm. He told me that they were living together.

I called him an adulterer and said some things to my wife that are to vulgar to write here.

He merely replied our leaders says, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."

 My wife just sat there quietly and every now and then, asked to go to the bathroom. I told him with friends like you! Abuhj then seemed to repent a little. He said he valued my friendship and asked if he could somehow compensate for what he had done.

 He knew I had back pain and said he knew a homeopathic cure.

See, he claimed he was a Yogi of Kundalini Yoga . I told him to leave. That night I had tremendous pain, I noticed that all of my Vicodin pain killers were gone.

Abuhj returned the next day with a climbing bag. He claimed he found it in a crevice by the mountains of Mongolia.

That it had been the backpack of a cooly (carrier) of Aleister Crowley. (Their have been unconfirmed reports that Crowley regularly threw asian coolys off mountains for slowing down the climb.)

He opened the bag and a serpentine glowing object came squiggling out and burned its way into into my back.

I was horrified. The pain was even worse. Abuhj then said, " It was a true Kundalini parasitic serpent energy pattern, and that it will lay dormant at the base of the spine.

 It strives to reach Shiver a common neural pattern common in the brains of people and beast alike. If the two patterns are joined or allowed to reach each other, it leads to enlightenment, and all pain is vanquished."

 I was horrified but Abuhj said, "You should be honored. Many Yahoos would give anything for the honor bestowed on you.

 This Kundalin was one of a kind, originally found in the mountains of Mongolia.

 Aleister Crowley himself had fought for it on a mountain side but the owner had chosen to fall rather than give it up.

It alone survived in the knapsack, covered by ten feet of snow till I found it.

The pain started to get unbearable. He then spent a few hour showing me how to meditate. The pain started moving up my spine and suddenly went away.

 I felt many unusually insights to the world.

That night I went to play chess on Yahoo Chess and won every game. I even beat people who were thrown off by the moderator for using chess programs for helping them.

 It was an amazing two weeks. Then I thought I could get my wife back.

 It would be easy she's a weak minded addict. She's addicted to Vicodin. Then I though ,or, would I prefer to get back at my wife.

 I keep getting these horrible yet ingenious thoughts and hearing these words "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."

 What would you do? Suddenly, I have people from all over wanting to do things for me. Even my wife worships me. Anyway I'm taking Abuhj and my wife mountain climbing next month.

 I'm beginning to think I can do anything. Can you recommend a good chess tournament in Florida.

I have people who want to pay for my trip there. I hope to visit Florida soon.

 My people are interested in a radio frequency identification tag company there, Applied Digital Solutions (ADS). It hopes to get people to implant RFID chips under their skin to identify themselves when going to a cash machine or in place of using a credit card.

This could be a great investment for the Kundalin Yoga Yahoos.

Bradley Zang comments: Here is a famous game by that shmuck.

 Aleister Crowley vs Hector Shoosmith 1894 1.e4 e5 2.f4 exf4 3.Nf3 g5 4.Bc4 d6 5.0-0 h6 6.d4 Ne7 7.Nc3 Bg7 8.e5 d5 9.Bb3 c6 10.Ne2 Ng6 11.g3 g4 12.Nxf4 Nxf4 13.Bxf4 gxf3 14.Qxf3 Be6 15.c3 Nd7 16.Bc2 Nf8 17.Qh5 Qd7 18.Bd2 Bg4 19.Qh4 Ng6 20.Bxg6 fxg6 21.e6 Bxe6 22.Rae1 g5 23.Qg4 0-0-0 24.Rxe6 h5 25.Qe2 h4 26.Bxg5 Rdg8 27.Re7 Qh3 28.g4 Bxd4+ 29.cxd4 Rxg5 30.Re8+ Rxe8 31.Qxe8+ Kc7 32.Qe7+ 1-0